Oh God Not Again! - Kapitola 12

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2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
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To be able to take credit for every dangerous magical creature that's defeated anywhere in Europe.
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3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
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The building and management of his adoring fanbase.
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And so on it went until finally Harry got to the last question:
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54. When it is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, what would his ideal gift be?
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The recent defeat of a dangerous magical creature in a mysterious manner with no witnesses.
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He was pretty sure that his answers differed from what was in Lockhart's books – not that he had ever read them, of course, but still they were bound to contain fewer references to his Obliviating habit – but he still felt that they were appropriate and somewhat accurate.
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Glancing through the tests, Harry could tell when Lockhart got to his because he just stopped and stared at it for a few minutes before shaking his head and moving past it without a word.
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When Lockhart was done giving the class the answers (and Harry and Ron were consequently done playing Wizarding Chess, Neville was done watching them, and Hermione was done lecturing them about the importance of paying attention while simultaneously taking notes like the girl genius she was), he moved on to the next part of the lesson: Cornish pixies.
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Harry tuned out Lockhart's attempt to convince the class that Cornish pixies were, in fact, highly dangerous creatures because he didn't think he could stop himself from saying something that would probably land him a detention. Normally, he wouldn't care, but there was no way in hell he was going to get stuck answering Lockhart's fan mail again.
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"Right then," Lockhart declared grandly, throwing open the door to the pixie cage. "Let's see what you make of them!"
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Harry watched impassively as the released pixies rushed around the room destroying everything.
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"Peskipiksi Pesternomi!" Lockhart bellowed after waiting until the class was suitably impressed. In did absolutely nothing. Perhaps it was a joke spell? Like the one the twins had given Ron to change Scabber's color?
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"Have you tried immobilis?" Harry suggested, pointing at one of the pixies and while the class turned to watch the pixie fall, he discretely pointed his wand at the other pixies and cast several silent freezing charms.
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Harry rolled his eyes. "With my incredible awesomeness, we've been over this, God."
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"Well done, Harry!" Lockhart beamed as he brushed himself off and got out from behind his desk. "Fifty points to Gryffindor."
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Harry sat frozen in horror. "No matter what I do…there's no escaping it…just kill me now."
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